ups and downs

I'm tracking my calorie intake and it's a real shocker. I said in my last post that I would not weight myself every day, so after a few days of exercising, and avoiding binging, I stepped on the scale to see a 4 pound gain. My heart sank and my spirits were immediately crushed. I've been moping around the house wondering what I'm doing wrong. I can maintain my weight by not exercising and eating what I would normally eat, so why am I gaining weight when I'm exercising and watching what I eat?

So I got a free app that lets you put in foods you're eating and it adds up your calories. I thought it might help me be more aware of what I'm eating and how many calories I really consume and so far it has been a big eye opener. My goal is to stay around 1300 calories a day and with my coffee and cream, two eggs, yogurt and some crackers I'm already half done the day. I think this will really challenge my eating habits and force me to think about how I want to spend those calories. I don't want to squander them on 8 cookies, but I also don't want to sit around eating celery all day.

My basic goal is to find a healthy lifestyle. I know that's going to take some experimenting and some ups and down on the scale, but ultimately I want something that I can maintain and live with without consuming my mind. I know I could hop on some detox or fast diet and drop 10 pounds in a few weeks, but I'm guaranteed to put those pounds back on, and at the end of those weeks I will be none the wiser as to how to prepare healthy meals, how to make working out a priority and how to show my family what healthy living is. One of the big jaw droppers for me was when I was looking through the app at some of my usual treats and was confronted with the reality of how many calories they were. My favorite Starbucks drinks is 480 calories. My favorite Booster Juice drink (which I thought was "healthy") is 560 calories. Greg keeps telling me that the key to succeeding in this is complete honesty. I need to be honest about what I'm eating and honest about my exercise. I can't make excuses.

So tonight Greg and I are heading to the University track to get in at least 3 miles of training. I've done a lot of research on prices around town and they seem to be the cheapest. I would love to drop in at a nearby gym but most drop in fees are upwards of $7. I'm too cheap to pay that 3 times a week, and I don't want a membership because I'm hoping that in a few weeks the spring will be here and the roads consistently clear for going outside. I don't mind going outside as long as it's above 0. I actually prefer outside to a track or a treadmill but the weather is always so unpredictable. But there's always going to be a reason to postpone training. It will always be too cold, too windy, to hot, the kids are cranky, I'm tired, it's late, I just did my hair (no jokes that's a real one for me), or the worst...I just ate. However if healthy living is a priority in my life, then excuses will have to take a backseat to determination and commitment.

My goals this week: Not to weigh myself, but to keep a closer eye on my calorie intake. Train 3 times doing 3 miles or more. Keep my spirits up and my focus on the long term benefits of better choices.