Are you a self-motivator? I'm slowly becoming one, but it has taken me a long time to see that by default, I'm really lazy. In fact, if I could write this post horizontally I probably would. While Greg was gone I had the evenings to myself and I realized that I'm no good alone. If left unattended I might eat a box of cookies, not shower for a day or so, sleep in really late (if I had no kids), and be pretty gross. It's hard for me to get motivated enough to finish a project or task by sheer will power, or convince myself to exercise for simply the health benefits. I work best with accountability and deadlines and the "sheer satisfaction of meeting my own goal" has been something I envied in others until quite recently. I have a friend who will cut out sweets for a while, go running for exercise, be disciplined enough to do daily devotions and all by her own will power. She doesn't need strict rules to do it, because her own mind is enough to get her excited about it. Hmm, wonder what that's like.
I was looking up runner's mantras on the internet one night, and one really stuck with me. This one runner repeats to herself, "love the life you live, and live the life you love". It's kinda cheesy but the truth is, when I'm unmotivated and lazy, I'm not happy. I'm much grumpier when I'm sedentary and unproductive, which makes sense because God made us to work and be busy 6 out of 7 days of the week. Although I complain that this MAT leave is so busy I can't wait to get back to work, I'm also glad to be living a life I can start to love. It feels good to make every day count, not just 'get through' the week and live for the weekends or vacations. We waste so much time living for the future instead of in the present. Life is about each day, finding routine, finding community and friends you like, find moments to seize, opportunities to embrace, and if you're not self motivated, then put something in place to keep you going.
When I started this blog, I intended to capture 2012 because I was determined to make it a big year. I knew I was signing up for big commitments but I also knew that I didn't want December to roll around and there was another year gone by where I did very little, changed not at all, and impacted very few. Instead I intend for December to come and I can look at my marathon medal, my contributions to Pro-Life, my investments in friendships and my commitment to reading the Bible. And here we are in June, half way through the year and my decision to make each day count has been greater than I thought. I've definitely missed out on some days, and had set backs but I'm determined to tackle the rest of this year with as much vigor as I can muster up.
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