Sleep Habits and Heartaches

First of all, I'd like to give a shout out to my friend, Lindsy for the design of my awesome new blog header. It's clearly much better than my blue words and I'm not talented enough to make something like that. I love how the map kinda symbolizes my journey down these roads of faith, fat, and my friends and family. Sometimes the course is bumpy or unpredictable and sometimes it's through uncharted waters. Thanks again, Lindsy!!

I thought today I'd stray from the topic of fitness and running to talk about something else that has been consuming me these days...sleep, or should I say the lack-thereof. Until recently Elliot he's been a dream baby when it comes to sleep. He was only a few weeks old when he would sleep from 11pm - 8am no problems. However, recently I've been out of town for a ladies retreat and then on a weeks vacation to visit family all over Alberta and Saskatchewan. On both occasions we were sleeping in close proximity to others and I found myself picking Elliot up and soothing him at the slightest whimper. BIG MISTAKE. And I know better, but I really did not want to wake anyone up so here we are a few weeks later and he's up to 2 night wakings at least and a need to be constantly soothed into a deep sleep. Not cool.

I remember when I was so dog tired with Liam and had not slept more than maybe 4 hours at once in 6 months, that I reached out for help and my sister in law recommended a great book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" in which the doctor goes through all sorts of sleep problems with babies and provides solutions. He has a couple suggestions for night wakings depending on your stand on letting babies cry it out, but basically he says the CIO (or cry-it-out) method of sleep training is fast and harmless. I myself know people who do this and I have seen their 3 month old babies cry, be put in the crib and be fast asleep 5 minutes later.

So with Liam we decided to try a semi-CIO version of sleep training where we soothed him until he was drowsy, put him down and if he cried we waited a few minutes to go in there. Then if he still cried we waited even longer and longer until yes, eventually he learned how to self soothe and became a dream sleeper. The other key thing the author of that book says you need is a very early bed time. He says most babies are kept up past their natural tired time until they are so overtired that they can not fall asleep very easily.

Wanting fast results to solve Elliot's new habit of frequent wakings I did more research on the CIO and I gotta say, I'm totally confused. All I can deduct from the readings I've done is that there is basically a spectrum of sleep training techniques, where on one extreme end you have CIO and NO soothing your baby and on the other side you have constant soothing, nursing, feeding and attending to your baby all night at any hour they should choose. Some say that CIO has psychological and neurological damages and causes babies to produce so much Cortisol (stress hormone) that they stop producing Insulin (stress reduction hormone) and that's why some of them throw up. They become unable to calm themselves down again. The reason this solves sleep problems is that they get used to nobody coming to their aide so they fall asleep without bothering to call for you. Good and bad. There is still a need for a baby to feel secure isn't there?

The other extreme is just not a possibility for me. I'm no good on little sleep and my mental health and ability to function the next day would be horrific. Part of me looks at this little one and knows how fast he'll grow and I want to savor the times of soothing and holding him while he is comforted. I want him to know I'm always here and I love him 24 hours a day, not just in the day. But I know I need to find balance between this and CIO.

While praying about it and asking God what is right I really felt him speaking to me. I was reminded that I'm secure in His arms and can call out to him any hour of any day or night. I was reminded that he designed mothers with a need to soothe and be with their babies, and that's why our heart rates go up and we feel stressed when our babies cry for too long or too frantically. I was also reminded that I can look to Him for the strength to get through the days where I was perhaps sleep deprived the night before. That being said, I've spent the last few nights holding Elliot until he's drowsy, going to him if he cries until he is calm again, then putting him back down to sleep alone and I have seen some progress. There is no definite answer to this. Different parents prefer different strategies...I'm just not sure where I fall in it all.

So continues the journey...