Low Cash and No Cash

I hate money.  I hate having it almost as much as I hate not having it.  When I have it, I'm no good with it and before I know it it's gone and I have nothing to show for it.  When I don't have it I seem to need it and think of a million ways I would spend it if I could just get some.  The odd time I've saved and spent my money on something significant and meaningful I've really been proud of myself.  For example, I've recently invested in a great new pair of running shoes that are totally worth it and make my training so much more enjoyable bearable.  I was proud of myself that I used cash, not credit and did a bunch of research to be sure I got the best ones and now I have something to show for that money.  Other times I've gotten some cash and nickle and dimed it away on coffee, gum, a quick bite to eat with a friend and before I know it the money is gone and I have nothing.

Yesterday I was having coffee with a friend who told me she was getting up early to go to an estate sale.  I was so inspired that she takes time to plan her thrift shopping and always finds such great deals on cute things.  I wish I was better at thrift shopping, but I feel like whenever I go to the thrift store there is nothing there that interests me and I just want to get home and wash my hands.  Greg and I used to get so many clothes from Value Village and we thought it was so cool, but now I'm creeped out by wearing clothes someone else was wearing and I especially don't like putting my kids in thrift clothes even though I know there is nothing wrong with them and I should really be more open to it since we are on a pastor's salary and trying to stay debt free. But sometimes I'd rather have one really nice thing than 10 kinda nice used things.  But with garage sale season upon us I'm tempted to give thrifting another try and see if I can't find some good deals.

When my maternity leave started I applied for the "top up " that my employer provides for the first 6 weeks postpartum.  I did all my calculations and figured I was due a check for about $700.  Finally I saw the mail had come from my work and I tore open an envelope to find a check written oh so kindly for 0 dollars and 0 cents.  Thanks for taking the time to write that out and sign it?! Along with the check was a letter saying I owed $17 toward my pension for those first 6 weeks and my other moneys owing were deducted from that check.  I was so annoyed and all the things I had planned to do with the money vanished and along came a period of resentment and frustration.  But it eventually passed and I got over it and life went on as it did before...just without those things I was going to get that, as it turned out, I didn't really need.  

My husband is so great with money that a while ago I handed over my financial burdens to him and let him do the money things.  It was very liberating and I'm so proud of him for saving and always being able to provide for us and budget for us.  I'm not lacking anything and we always have more than enough with him in control.  Once in a while I get a craving for a good hair dye and cut ($120) or a new outfit ($100) or even a nice overnight get-away ($200?)  but with a tight budget it's not always possible, at least not too often.  But that's okay with me and a fun movie night in with homemade pizza can be just as fun as a date night out to a fancy restaurant and a new release theater movie.  The cool thing about not having hoards of money is that we have learned how to be content with money in the bank and without it, so no matter what our circumstances are we know we can get through it and still be content with life.  When some money comes along we're grateful and try to make wise decisions and when it's not around then we remain faithful and remind ourselves that money is just....we'll it's just money. God has always been faithful to provide for us.  Probably more so since being in ministry than before.  Just as I was so relieved to pass all the money burdens and problems over to Greg, we have to continue to pass them all onto God.