I DID IT!

 I'm alive! That's really the best news of all, considering the amount of times I thought I might die.  Not only was Cali hot but our Disneyland-park-filled days really got me tired and the race was on our last morning there...at 4am. 

 We made a few pre-race errors that could have been avoided; we stayed up until 10pm the night before enjoying every last ride and slushy drink we could soak in, and for dinner we shared a burger.  Not enough carbs and not enough food.  The night was really short and our alarms went off at 4am.  We had a quick shower to wake ourselves up and geared up.  We quickly downed some OJ, a boiled egg, and a cliff bar and took off for the race.  We got to our corral (start group) at 5am and stood around waiting.  There was music and DJ's and lots of stimulating pre-race pep, but I was still too tired to care.  We sat on the dark cold pavement and waited for our start time.  The only interesting pre-race thing was seeing Sean Astin there and being slightly excited to race Samwise Gamgee.  So once 6:14am came and it was our turn to cross the start line I was cold and tired but my adrenaline quickly kicked in.  Within minutes it was light out and I was swept away in a sea or people flowing down the road almost effortlessly like a fish in a current...until Greg said he had to use the bathroom.

So we hit mile 2 and saw a line-up for the port-a-potty and spent about 10 minutes wasted waiting to pee.  But better to pee than slosh around a full bladder for the next 2 hours.  Once we peed we thought we better step up the pace to keep our time down.  So we took off running hard and ran miles 2-7 or 8 pretty well.

Around mile 8 my electrolyte gummy felt gross in my stomach and we were walking more than running (although our walk was fast enough to pass some 'runners').  So yet another mistake I knew not to do had failed me.  I must have read a million times not to take or wear anything you hadn't tried before but alas, I thought myself invinsible.  But we pushed on past countless princesses, marching bands, hot rod cars, cheer squads and Disney characters until we saw the beautiful mile 13 sign.  I knew the finish line was around the corner and I couldn't wait to be done so we booked it to the end and never have I seen anything so beautiful as that finish line.

I must have told Greg a few times during the race that I would never do this again, but finishing was so much more rewarding than I thought it would be.  Knowing that I worked so hard since January, I had a baby only 9 months ago, I couldn't run 0.2 miles when I started and here I was...running 13.1 miles and proving to myself that I really can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!  It was awesome.

The race itself wasn't exactly what I expected in a few regards but now that I've tasted racing, I kind of liked it.  When you run by yourself you can focus on your pace, your heart rate, your thoughts and your music.  You can listen to your body and push yourself.  But in a race you're so distracted and over-stimulated that your pace is almost impossible to keep (especially navigating around 17,000 people), your body isn't telling you anything because of the adrenaline and your focus all over the place.  My mind was constantly like, "where's Greg, oh there he is, that's a fun running skirt, who would run in those shoes, what kind of water belt is that...it's cool, where is mile 6? what mile are we on? I need a water station...etc.".  It was like runner's A.D.D.

But now it's over.  I'm done and I'm so glad I did it.  Without the pressure of this huge race I never would have pushed myself to be a runner.  I never would have lost 27 pounds and I never would have thought I was even capable of being much of an athlete at all.  But now I feel like I could take on exercise with confidence and continue my quest for a healthy weight and body with assuredness.  I'm more confident in what I'm capable of and excited to see what's next for me. 

And what's next for me is a big question on my mind now.  Why work so hard to be able to run without dying only to quit.  I want to avoid the post-marathon plunge into binge eating and non-exercise.  I feel both free from training obligations but also lost in an empty calendar that has no work-outs on it.  I don't know what to do next.  Sign up for another race? Do some 10k's?  Try a new sport?  We shall see, but for now I'll just enjoy walking around the house with this big medal around my neck!