I'm toying with the idea of keeping this blog alive. I've lost complete interest in blogging about my faith, my fat and my friends ironically at a time in my life when these things are changing more than ever. I'm glad I kept a record of my race training and my thoughts along the way, but once that ended I seem to have lost the motivation to keep going (like millions of others). I ran a few times after the marathon, but other things were happening in my life and fall came and blah blah blah I stopped running. I don't really regret it, and I plan to run again hopefully sooner than later, but I got kind of bored of it and looked for something new and exciting to take it's place.
I've played the "gain-a-pound, lose-a-pound" game since the beginning of September and am basically at the exact same spot I was after our vacation. I'm glad I didn't gain weight when the running stopped, but I definetely have not lost any either, so that's that.
On that "faith" side of things, our senior pastor and his wife have announced that they will be moving to Calgary so he can become the dean of a bible college there. We are very excited for them, and feel it's an awesome fit for him and their family, but since that announcement our lives have been crazy. Greg will be taking the position of Senior Pastor at our church and it all seemed to happen before we could blink.
We feel very excited for what road God has us on, but of course we also feel nervous, ill-equipped, humbled and stressed. Our church has grown steadlily over the last few years as our pastor has sought to restore health and a Christ-centered, family-friendly environment. So we're glad to be stepping up at a time of health but a big change like this keeps us in constant prayer and a never-ending state of humility. We are looking to God for everything through this transition: peace, strength, encouragment, support, even sleep. But anyone who knows Greg knows that he is the real deal and I am 100% confident in him and supportive of him. He's grown leaps and bounds as a preacher and leader. Seriously. He is legit.
This transition is coming on over the next few weeks, and coincides with my return to work and Elliot's birthday, and Christmas all at once. It will be a busy few months but I'm keeping a hold on things for now and plan to try to just enjoy the ride.
So on that note, I decided to update the old blog and perhaps some cool things could result from recording and sharing my experiences as a pastor's wife, working mom, continued aspiring thin person, and friend.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Scary Mom
I just finished a very hilarious book for any mom entitled, 'Confessions of a Scary Mom' by mother of three, Jill Smokler. She started out writing a blog about her kids and the realities of being a mom, and she soon had a major following of other mom's just like her; real, honest, funny, raw. She decided to start a new blog that would allow mom's to annonmously confess things and the results were funny, sad, and very real. The book itself is an easy fun read where each chapter begins with some confessions she has recieved, followed by her own stories of motherhood on a particular subject.
Anything goes in this book, from confessing your laziness as a mom, to the poor diet you default to when your kids are being a pain. She tells it like it is and it's very refreshing. The first chapter had me giggling so much I had to read it when I was alone to keep Greg from saying, 'what? what's so funny?'.
I think one of the reasons I like this book is that it takes the pressure off of us to look like we have it all together and we know what we're doing. The confessions she gets are similar to what I feel anyone I know would write, but in a world like ours with Pinterest and DIY cute things everywhere it's hard not to feel pressure to be SuperMom. One mom confesses her kids haven't had a veggie in 3 years, while another confesses her kids have had grilled cheese for lunch everyday for weeks. I feel oddly refreshed by that and it makes me feel better about my own parenting skills.
It's a great fun little read, but I would warn against some language in the book and her chapter on "Husbands, the biggest baby of them all" is a little feminist and demeaning to men. I get what she's saying about men being sick and wives taking care of them like we care for our kids, but she does write like she's the superior being in that home. Funny but not to be taken too seriously for me, thanks.
So if you feel like an ego boost on your parenting skills, or a nice down-to-earth look at what's really going on in other people's lives, then check out this book or her blog.
Anything goes in this book, from confessing your laziness as a mom, to the poor diet you default to when your kids are being a pain. She tells it like it is and it's very refreshing. The first chapter had me giggling so much I had to read it when I was alone to keep Greg from saying, 'what? what's so funny?'.
It's a great fun little read, but I would warn against some language in the book and her chapter on "Husbands, the biggest baby of them all" is a little feminist and demeaning to men. I get what she's saying about men being sick and wives taking care of them like we care for our kids, but she does write like she's the superior being in that home. Funny but not to be taken too seriously for me, thanks.
So if you feel like an ego boost on your parenting skills, or a nice down-to-earth look at what's really going on in other people's lives, then check out this book or her blog.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Still going...
Today I'm going running for the first time since my race. I feel a little crazy for electing to do physical exercise when I could just sit here and eat chips, but I know I'll feel good after I do it, and I'm kind of looking forward to getting out there and just enjoying it, instead of worrying about my pace or time. I have some new good tunes to listen to and I'm going to re-visit my old 5K stomping ground that I'm oh so familiar with.
Since the race, my mind's been on many other things...which we will discuss at a later date. But I've been reflecting back on it and finding that so many areas of my life are like a metaphorical marathon. Namely, my spiritual walk. I, like many others, have miles where I sail along with little effort, feeling good, reading the word and staying strong. Then there are miles where every step takes all your energy and effort, and you feel like a thousand pounds of dead weight dragging along the ground. Opening your Bible is like pulling a tooth out and praying feels like a chore. Those miles count the most. Learning to push through and get past those hard miles will make your next hard mile go faster and easier.
Sometimes during my training, I would get outside and start running only to find that every fiber of my body wanted to STOP. I was dying to walk, dying to just go home and sit down...but I would tell myself, "if this were race day I would have to push through these feelings, so keep on going". And most of the time those runs got easier after a few horrible miles, but sometimes they didn't and I just got home and tried to recover from a horrible run. But the point was, finishing those hard times made the next hard time easier. The next time I felt horrible I knew I could push through because I had done it before. When my spiritual life feels dry and heavy, forcing myself to push through and be uncomfortable is rewarding and I seem to find the hard times fewer and far between.
A marathon also has miles full of distractions much like a spiritual walk, and sometimes the most dangerous distractions are the positive ones. When Disney set up the race course to have bands and cheerleaders along the route, I'm sure they just wanted to encourage and spur people on. However if you're not careful, you can really waste a lot of your precious energy giving away high-fives willy nilly, and yelling 'way to go' and 'thanks for volunteering' to all the water station workers. If you stop to admire all the support, you could be too tired to finish or too slow to complete the race in time. I saw people standing in a 12 person deep line in the middle of the race, just to get a picture with Ariel. WHAT? Although the standing and not-running part looked tempting, I would never waste any time doing that...precious time. Why draw the race out any longer than it needs to be. And in my spiritual life, I can also be easily distracted by cool Theology books, or self-help books, or being a Mommy books until I realize it's been a while since I read THE book. Distraction meant to be encouraging but ending up hurting in the end. Beware.
Then later, when you get to the last few miles and you're adrenaline finally kicks in and you feel you have a somewhat supernatural energy source you can tap into you're somehow able to finish what you once thought to be an impossible task. Only in a spritual sense, the adrenaline to tap into is really the Holy Spirit who is always so great to keep us going and encouraged when we hit mile 13 and feel depleated. He is our supernatural energy source. He allows me to clean the house and have people over for the 100th time this week. He keeps my patients supplied when my kids are nuts and crying and throwing things. He knows when my human supply of joy or love for others is almost depleated and he always manages to come to the rescue with a fresh supply that could only be from Him.
So although I promised not to mention my marathon again, I'm amazed at how it has paralleled my life in other areas and wanted to share that. So although I'm finished my race, I want to keep on running...both physically and spiritually.
Since the race, my mind's been on many other things...which we will discuss at a later date. But I've been reflecting back on it and finding that so many areas of my life are like a metaphorical marathon. Namely, my spiritual walk. I, like many others, have miles where I sail along with little effort, feeling good, reading the word and staying strong. Then there are miles where every step takes all your energy and effort, and you feel like a thousand pounds of dead weight dragging along the ground. Opening your Bible is like pulling a tooth out and praying feels like a chore. Those miles count the most. Learning to push through and get past those hard miles will make your next hard mile go faster and easier.
Sometimes during my training, I would get outside and start running only to find that every fiber of my body wanted to STOP. I was dying to walk, dying to just go home and sit down...but I would tell myself, "if this were race day I would have to push through these feelings, so keep on going". And most of the time those runs got easier after a few horrible miles, but sometimes they didn't and I just got home and tried to recover from a horrible run. But the point was, finishing those hard times made the next hard time easier. The next time I felt horrible I knew I could push through because I had done it before. When my spiritual life feels dry and heavy, forcing myself to push through and be uncomfortable is rewarding and I seem to find the hard times fewer and far between.
A marathon also has miles full of distractions much like a spiritual walk, and sometimes the most dangerous distractions are the positive ones. When Disney set up the race course to have bands and cheerleaders along the route, I'm sure they just wanted to encourage and spur people on. However if you're not careful, you can really waste a lot of your precious energy giving away high-fives willy nilly, and yelling 'way to go' and 'thanks for volunteering' to all the water station workers. If you stop to admire all the support, you could be too tired to finish or too slow to complete the race in time. I saw people standing in a 12 person deep line in the middle of the race, just to get a picture with Ariel. WHAT? Although the standing and not-running part looked tempting, I would never waste any time doing that...precious time. Why draw the race out any longer than it needs to be. And in my spiritual life, I can also be easily distracted by cool Theology books, or self-help books, or being a Mommy books until I realize it's been a while since I read THE book. Distraction meant to be encouraging but ending up hurting in the end. Beware.
Then later, when you get to the last few miles and you're adrenaline finally kicks in and you feel you have a somewhat supernatural energy source you can tap into you're somehow able to finish what you once thought to be an impossible task. Only in a spritual sense, the adrenaline to tap into is really the Holy Spirit who is always so great to keep us going and encouraged when we hit mile 13 and feel depleated. He is our supernatural energy source. He allows me to clean the house and have people over for the 100th time this week. He keeps my patients supplied when my kids are nuts and crying and throwing things. He knows when my human supply of joy or love for others is almost depleated and he always manages to come to the rescue with a fresh supply that could only be from Him.
So although I promised not to mention my marathon again, I'm amazed at how it has paralleled my life in other areas and wanted to share that. So although I'm finished my race, I want to keep on running...both physically and spiritually.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
I DID IT!
So we hit mile 2 and saw a line-up for the port-a-potty and spent about 10 minutes wasted waiting to pee. But better to pee than slosh around a full bladder for the next 2 hours. Once we peed we thought we better step up the pace to keep our time down. So we took off running hard and ran miles 2-7 or 8 pretty well.
Around mile 8 my electrolyte gummy felt gross in my stomach and we were walking more than running (although our walk was fast enough to pass some 'runners'). So yet another mistake I knew not to do had failed me. I must have read a million times not to take or wear anything you hadn't tried before but alas, I thought myself invinsible. But we pushed on past countless princesses, marching bands, hot rod cars, cheer squads and Disney characters until we saw the beautiful mile 13 sign. I knew the finish line was around the corner and I couldn't wait to be done so we booked it to the end and never have I seen anything so beautiful as that finish line.
I must have told Greg a few times during the race that I would never do this again, but finishing was so much more rewarding than I thought it would be. Knowing that I worked so hard since January, I had a baby only 9 months ago, I couldn't run 0.2 miles when I started and here I was...running 13.1 miles and proving to myself that I really can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! It was awesome.
The race itself wasn't exactly what I expected in a few regards but now that I've tasted racing, I kind of liked it. When you run by yourself you can focus on your pace, your heart rate, your thoughts and your music. You can listen to your body and push yourself. But in a race you're so distracted and over-stimulated that your pace is almost impossible to keep (especially navigating around 17,000 people), your body isn't telling you anything because of the adrenaline and your focus all over the place. My mind was constantly like, "where's Greg, oh there he is, that's a fun running skirt, who would run in those shoes, what kind of water belt is that...it's cool, where is mile 6? what mile are we on? I need a water station...etc.". It was like runner's A.D.D.
But now it's over. I'm done and I'm so glad I did it. Without the pressure of this huge race I never would have pushed myself to be a runner. I never would have lost 27 pounds and I never would have thought I was even capable of being much of an athlete at all. But now I feel like I could take on exercise with confidence and continue my quest for a healthy weight and body with assuredness. I'm more confident in what I'm capable of and excited to see what's next for me.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Mind over Matter
One of the hardest things about running, that caught me off guard, is the incredible mental component. The state of your mind pre-run and during your run can make or break you. When gearing up for a longer distance I've been trying to stay positive and tell myself things like, 'it's only 2 miles more than last week", or "I've been training for months and I know my body is capable of this", but once you're actually out there your mind can turn on you and hold you back big time.
I've developed some tips and tricks for keeping my mind off my pain and fatigue and on other things in an attempt to make my runs go by faster, and keep my thoughts from returning to the ever-so-frequent "can I stop now? can I stop now? can I walk now? can I quit now?". I first noticed that when I trained with my sister on my visit to Vancouver our miles went by so fast. We were talking and counting miles together and I wasn't completely focused on my body and my muscles. Then as Greg and I started training longer distances together I confirmed that having a partner or a group is much more distracting than hitting the road alone.
So here are a few of my mental tricks that may be applied to any form of exercise. Hope some of them help!
1. Music! Of course this is a given for most people, but beware: not all running music is created equally. I was first drawn to really exciting, pump-you-up songs, but quickly realized that they took all my energy as I raw raw rawed my way through my first 2 miles. The key is to find mellow songs that are catchy to keep your heart rate low, but not put you to sleep. Some of my new favorites are the new Lights album, Postal Service, David Crowder Band, Owl City and even Sia.
2. Friend! As I mentioned already, going out there with someone else is great for keeping your mind off yourself. Sometimes I even imagine a teather tying me to Greg and when I'm feeling strong, I can mentally set the pace and "pull" him, and when he's got more spunk than me, I imagine he's "pulling" me along and keeping me in the groove. We also constantly negociate goals and keep eachother accountable to them. We'll agree that we will run the next mile, and then give yourselves a little walking break and with him there, I'm less likely to cheat on that.
3. Food! I think about all the yummy things I'm going to bake or make when I get home. I often think of the Starbucks treat I'll reward myself with, or what I have in the fridge to make a delicious dinner out of. I personally can think of food all day so before I know it, 10 minutes might have passed.
4. My Body! Believe it or not, thinking of spicific muscle groups and changes that are happening in my body can keep me motivated. I'll think of all the work my legs are doing and how the muscles hurt because they're getting stronger and next run they'll be even better and faster. Or I think of my abs and focus on using them to propell me forward and visualize the muscles working for my health and speed.
5. Hot Bath! I love coming home, cooling down and then soaking my body in a big hot bubble bath. I'll visualize the water relaxing me and remind myself that "this pain will end, and in just 45 minutes (or whatever) I'll be soaking my body".
6. Mantras! They sound cheesy, or Budist or whatever, but they actually work if you pick one that means something to YOU. I found a lot of the mantras I saw online didn't work for me and I knew I needed to find my own. As I shared once before, mine are "If you ain't dying, you ain't trying". and "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me STRENGTH". and "this too shall pass, it won't go on forever, soon I will be done". Find what works for you and tattoo it in your mind.
7. Break It Down! Take your distance and break it up into small chunks that you know you can easily do. Wether you decide to break it up by time, "I'll run 5 minutes and walk 1" or distance "I'll run unitl mile 7 and then walk a half a mile", breaking up your run will pass time and keep your mind working. Plus, if you're slow at math like me then it really kills a lot of time to check your watch and figure our your distance and pace and expected time of completion. I literally started doing 10 seconds of running and 50 seconds of walking and you wouldn't believe how quickly those 10 running seconds seemed to creep up on me. I've even broken it down by "run to stop sign, walk to corner" and I often use this one speed limit sign on my regular route as an imaginary finish line and push myself to my pretend finish.
8. Rewards! I'm not an extremely externally motivated person, but I know some people like to say, "when I can run a 10K I will gift myself some new clothes". Whatever you kind of want to get, but don't have a great excuse for, use that thing to push you forward.
9. Gas Tank Trick! I came up with this when I kept reading about "keeping your fuel for the end". I try and visualize my entire run as a full gas tank and use my energy as gas. The goal is to empty it slowly so you're sure to have some at the end. The longer the run, the slower I want my heart rate at the beginning and the easier I am on myself. The shorter the distance, the more fuel I can burn through and really push myself.
I hope these come in handy for some people. I think I'll need to use a combination of all of them for my 1/2 marathon that's coming up in just 3 weeks!!!!!
I've developed some tips and tricks for keeping my mind off my pain and fatigue and on other things in an attempt to make my runs go by faster, and keep my thoughts from returning to the ever-so-frequent "can I stop now? can I stop now? can I walk now? can I quit now?". I first noticed that when I trained with my sister on my visit to Vancouver our miles went by so fast. We were talking and counting miles together and I wasn't completely focused on my body and my muscles. Then as Greg and I started training longer distances together I confirmed that having a partner or a group is much more distracting than hitting the road alone.
So here are a few of my mental tricks that may be applied to any form of exercise. Hope some of them help!
1. Music! Of course this is a given for most people, but beware: not all running music is created equally. I was first drawn to really exciting, pump-you-up songs, but quickly realized that they took all my energy as I raw raw rawed my way through my first 2 miles. The key is to find mellow songs that are catchy to keep your heart rate low, but not put you to sleep. Some of my new favorites are the new Lights album, Postal Service, David Crowder Band, Owl City and even Sia.
2. Friend! As I mentioned already, going out there with someone else is great for keeping your mind off yourself. Sometimes I even imagine a teather tying me to Greg and when I'm feeling strong, I can mentally set the pace and "pull" him, and when he's got more spunk than me, I imagine he's "pulling" me along and keeping me in the groove. We also constantly negociate goals and keep eachother accountable to them. We'll agree that we will run the next mile, and then give yourselves a little walking break and with him there, I'm less likely to cheat on that.
3. Food! I think about all the yummy things I'm going to bake or make when I get home. I often think of the Starbucks treat I'll reward myself with, or what I have in the fridge to make a delicious dinner out of. I personally can think of food all day so before I know it, 10 minutes might have passed.
4. My Body! Believe it or not, thinking of spicific muscle groups and changes that are happening in my body can keep me motivated. I'll think of all the work my legs are doing and how the muscles hurt because they're getting stronger and next run they'll be even better and faster. Or I think of my abs and focus on using them to propell me forward and visualize the muscles working for my health and speed.
5. Hot Bath! I love coming home, cooling down and then soaking my body in a big hot bubble bath. I'll visualize the water relaxing me and remind myself that "this pain will end, and in just 45 minutes (or whatever) I'll be soaking my body".
6. Mantras! They sound cheesy, or Budist or whatever, but they actually work if you pick one that means something to YOU. I found a lot of the mantras I saw online didn't work for me and I knew I needed to find my own. As I shared once before, mine are "If you ain't dying, you ain't trying". and "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me STRENGTH". and "this too shall pass, it won't go on forever, soon I will be done". Find what works for you and tattoo it in your mind.
7. Break It Down! Take your distance and break it up into small chunks that you know you can easily do. Wether you decide to break it up by time, "I'll run 5 minutes and walk 1" or distance "I'll run unitl mile 7 and then walk a half a mile", breaking up your run will pass time and keep your mind working. Plus, if you're slow at math like me then it really kills a lot of time to check your watch and figure our your distance and pace and expected time of completion. I literally started doing 10 seconds of running and 50 seconds of walking and you wouldn't believe how quickly those 10 running seconds seemed to creep up on me. I've even broken it down by "run to stop sign, walk to corner" and I often use this one speed limit sign on my regular route as an imaginary finish line and push myself to my pretend finish.
8. Rewards! I'm not an extremely externally motivated person, but I know some people like to say, "when I can run a 10K I will gift myself some new clothes". Whatever you kind of want to get, but don't have a great excuse for, use that thing to push you forward.
9. Gas Tank Trick! I came up with this when I kept reading about "keeping your fuel for the end". I try and visualize my entire run as a full gas tank and use my energy as gas. The goal is to empty it slowly so you're sure to have some at the end. The longer the run, the slower I want my heart rate at the beginning and the easier I am on myself. The shorter the distance, the more fuel I can burn through and really push myself.
I hope these come in handy for some people. I think I'll need to use a combination of all of them for my 1/2 marathon that's coming up in just 3 weeks!!!!!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Hobbies
I like to paint my nails. It makes me feel pretty and "polished", if you will. I have over 40 colors and a bag full of nail art paraphernalia. I love collecting cool new colors and trying new things.
As a bonus, painting your nails while you watch tv can keep you from unnecessary snacking! I got the yellow this summer and have tried it a few times. I seem to like it better every time I put it on. It's probably my second favorite. My ultimate fav is The China Glaze color "for Audrey". Not only is it made for me, but it's such a cute turquoise. Love it.
As a bonus, painting your nails while you watch tv can keep you from unnecessary snacking! I got the yellow this summer and have tried it a few times. I seem to like it better every time I put it on. It's probably my second favorite. My ultimate fav is The China Glaze color "for Audrey". Not only is it made for me, but it's such a cute turquoise. Love it.
Friday, August 10, 2012
$10 Value Village "art"
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